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116. Boudoir Photographer: "Successful Entrepreneurs Think Differently"

Updated: Mar 7

Boudoir photographer Melissa Miracolo talks with Coach Jess about the mindset shift that helped her create a successful business. She shares the thoughts and skills that helped her continue moving forward in the growth of her business when fear was telling her to retreat. They talk about scheduling to meet revenue goals, pivoting, and…overcoming the urge to “buffer.”

  1. 3 thoughts that helped Melissa reach her business goals

  2. The trick to “monthly revenue tracking”

  3. Overcoming the urge to “buffer” and stick to our schedule

  4. Why do we spend money when we’re worried we don’t have enough?

  5. How to make up your "Gap to Goal"

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Full Transcript Below:

Welcome to sincerely future you a podcast that helps ambitious women like you and make decisions today with the future you in mind.

As always, when we have a guest on the show, it's an editing episode because the vibe is just different. The vibe is different when you get to hear it not just from me telling you about what coaching is like or about a tool of coaching, but from an actual hamster themselves and their experience with it, the ups the downs, the good, the bad, the ugly, all the things. So, before I introduce our guests for today, I just wanted to give you a little catch up as always, it is leading into Memorial Day weekend over here when I'm recording this. I know when you're listening probably little bit later in June, maybe the babies in here who love thinking about the future. But yeah, I marked us put up a movie projector screen in the backyard. And we're gonna watch a movie as a family outside in our backyard for the first time I was so pumped about the summer, the weather and the family time. And like the good core memories that can only be created in a house, which I never thought I was going to have. It just wasn't a part of my original plan. And I'm totally getting on board. So that's been really fun. And at the time that you're listening to this likely happening sessions enrollment is closed. But we are gearing up it is next week when we're recording this. And I was just thinking about how in order to get to this phase, I just had to be so willing to fail, I just had to be so willing to suck until I didn't suck. And I was in my own mastermind Facebook community. And one girl, oversold her goal, and enrolled 31 People Her goal was 20 she had never gotten the most she'd ever enrolled in one launch was 15. And she's been doing this for like eight launches. And she was like, I just wanted to put this out there for anyone who's in the thick of like their first or their second or their third or fourth, or like as many launches as it takes, like, just keep going, the process works. And the failure collection shouldn't use that term. Right. That's how we talk about it here on the show. But the failure collection is just the process. And if you just keep going and keep believing and keep looking for ways to do it a little bit better every time your success is inevitable. And it just felt so true for me who's going into my second ever launch with very little evidence of what the future holds other than this general understanding and a universal belief that your success is inevitable when you never make failure a problem, you just make it a part of the process. So wanted to share that with you guys. So with that I will now introduce our guests today we have on the show, Melissa Nicola Melissa is a boudoir photographer and a hipster herself. She and I have been working together for about 10 months now. Both we have worked together one on one. And now she is also within the container of happening sessions. And she comes in participates in that container. And I just thought she was the perfect person to have you guys on to share, you know the the real true 5050 experience of going all in and learning these tools and processes and watching your thoughts and being willing to set big goals, go for them, hit them and continue to move the benchmark. And what that has felt like for you. I think she's in a really interesting place in her business. And I wanted to have her on the show before she's so successful that you guys start to think of her as a unicorn. I wanted you to like be with her in the middle stages where she's like past the beginner stage. But she's working on some more advanced concepts to really just get to that like autopilot phase where she gets to decide what do I want to do with my time now that I have all of us. So welcome, Melissa.

Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Exciting. So a little bit about kind of where you were in your business before before we met and before coaching and what led you to seek out a coach and to come come to the dark side.

The light side, the light side. I was I was that the dark side? Like? I mean, you know, I've been a photographer for a long time, close to 20 years. I mean, I started in high school and right in college, I was assistant, you know, like photography has been a huge part of my life for a very long time. But right before we started, you know, I was full on in the wedding industry. I was miserable, I hated it, like, hated it. And my body showed physical signs of it. Things hurt, that shouldn't have hurt, you know, at my age. And I was like, I can't do this anymore. And I finally like decided I was going to make, you know, the steps that I needed to do was like, end the wedding career I really liked was starting to do boudoir. I've done it in the past, like a bunch of times, but never like full time. And I was like, I'm really going to commit to doing this full time. So I quit my job. Yeah. So

tell us tell us you were working in a studio, right? Yes, that was most of your income was coming from that?

What? Yeah, most of my income was coming from the studio, I worked for the studio in house and shot for them. In addition to doing some of my own freelance stuff, but it was primarily the studio is the studios rules. It was the studios hours, it was the studio's policies. And I didn't like a good majority of them. And it was a it was a constant battle of like, why don't we try this, this makes more sense. But you know, it's not my company. It's not my, you know, my studio, so I didn't necessarily have a sec and make suggestions. And I just, I knew it was holding me back from, you know, really like becoming successful. So July of last year, I officially quit and was like, No, I'm gonna pursue this full time, like I was doing it, you know, on my off days as much as possible. And I finally you know, pulled ripped off the band aid and quit. And that was it. And then I went, Oh, God, what do I do?

I was like, that must have been scary. I know, a couple other girls. In happening sessions right now, you know, one in particular, who I'm sure is listening on the precipice of quitting her job. And she's like, in that feels. And meanwhile, you had different thoughts about quitting, you were like, for sure, this is the route to my successful law. And then you had the feelings after quitting, versus like she's having right now. But the feeling so what were the feels?

I mean, it's, you know, it's terror, because where's my money coming from? Like, it's not consistent. It's, you know, now it's up to fully up to me, you know, I don't just have to show up, I have to work, like work for it, but in a different way, or a different sense. You know, so it was, it's a lot of uncertainty. And, you know, how am I going to find my clients? Where are they going to come from? How do I pursue this, and I had, like, little, you know, things that I was already working on to help with all of that, like, I had been working on my Instagram for a year over a year at that point, to get more followers and potential clients that way, I have a private Facebook group that I've been posted had been cultivating for over a year at that point, as well. So there were like, those two small, little pockets. But I constantly felt like, I have all this stuff to do, and I don't know, like how to do it. And I have to do this, and I had lists and, and then I would get overwhelmed, and then I would walk out, you know, like, just walk away from it and be like, I'm too stressed out. I don't want to do this. So, you know, I had I think I heard you speak last July at an event. And I had seen you before it like other events I like didn't really know who you were, but you're listening to you speak I was I really resonated with a lot of what you're saying. And I forget exactly what the theme was. But I think it had to do with like social media and like, not caring about like the followers necessarily, and like, you know, how many followers and how many likes and all that. And that was like the first thing where I was like, Yeah, it really doesn't matter. How many followers how many likes, as long as I'm getting clients from it and clients that I want to work with. That's the whole point of me. Quitting weddings is because I want control of who I work with. Yeah, so it's so

good because I love that panel is hilarious, because when the the creator of the event reached out to me, she was like, I know you're gonna think this is weird, but I would like to put you on a panel that's about social media. And it's, it's comical, because I think my following, even at this time was like 2000 Like, and I think now maybe I have like 2600 I don't even know. And that's not a lot. It's like I'm not an influencer by any means. But you know, one of the reasons she wanted me to have me on the panel I was because of my thoughts about social media helped me to use social media to my advantage, and not to use those vanity metrics against myself, which is what I was seeing so many people do in the beginning stages of their business, they could only think of social media as a lucrative tool for them, when they had the evidence of X number of followers, or X number of likes, on their, on their posts, or X number of reels going viral, or whatever it was. And I was just like, I don't like to wait for those things. Like I let the math catch up with my vision for for those things. Instead, we just always know that, like, every tool that we have, but especially social media, is like a tool that one person can convert, and one person can turn into two, it can turn into many, right, we set the goal and we just reverse engineer it.

Yeah, exactly. So you know, at that point, before that panel, I heard, you know, I've just I did the exact same thing was like, I don't have enough followers, I needed me more likes, I need more people to see it, I need something new viral, because I needed, you know, I wanted to cast the net, to everyone, you know, but that's not who I want to work with. I have a very specific idea of who I wanted to work with. But for some reason, I wanted to cast the net to everybody and be like, well, let's see who it really is in, you know,

yeah. And probably that was coming from your scarcity, about the very first question that you said popped into your head the second that you quit your job, which is, where's my money gonna come from? And when we're asking that question, we're setting our brain to task to try and just like, think about how to create money, not how to create best clients. Right, which is something that we've worked on together, and getting really specific. So So tell me, so then, now you're like, Okay, I resonate with this girl, I don't really know, but I want to be successful. So I'm gonna come on, I'm gonna hire her. What were your thoughts? When I told you how much it costs to work with me? And what, what? How did you handle that?

I mean, it was definitely a shock. I'm sure if I was drinking something I might have spit it out.

But there was something, I had something in me that said, this is what you need to do to help you get to the next level to really like launch yourself in your career, like, this is the key to what's going to open more doors and not necessarily to I mean, yes to clients, but more like doors within myself to understand my potential and retrain my brain in certain ways. Like, we had that that console call. And like I said, it was absolute shock at the price. And I was like, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. And I said, Yeah, let's do it. And then again, after I said, Yes, I was like, Oh, my God, where's this money coming? I don't have

to find the thought for you. Because they think that it's just, it's, I want someone to be able to do what you did. Because as you know, like, you can get to where you are right now. And you'd be like, okay, like the return on the investment, like I've made more since working with her than I did, then I have spent on working with her, right. But at the time, when you're in a place of scarcity around money, how do you overcome, it's kind of like, it takes money to make money that thought or like, it takes bull, it takes evidence, or it takes like the results of me creating money to believe that I'm capable of creating the money. And that's not how it works. It's using the model backwards. Like you actually have to believe that you're capable of creating the money before you create it. So I've watched so many entrepreneurs waste so much time being like, I desperately want to come and make all these improvements. I know that working with you is the next best step. I just need to first go and make money to prove that I can believe that I can consistently make enough money. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. Like, when you come into the room, I teach you how to deepen that belief. We talk about that all your thought errors and how you do it. We teach you how to reverse engineer and then you just make the money. But it's like, I can't I can't help you get into the room. Like I can do my best and I counsel that's it. So I was like, always just love to ask that question and be like, You did such a masterful job of being like, I'm scared. And I'm gonna do it scared. Yeah, so like, yeah, what do you think that thought? Was that allowed you to feel the feeling of scarcity and scared and do it anyway?

Well, I mean, I always did have this thought. And it was it was based on evidence that I had, you know, again, working in the wedding industry. Are there seasons, and there's downtime. And again, the studio that I worked for, we went on something called a winter schedule, where we would all drop days. So not only were we not shooting because there were no weddings during the winter, we will, you know, drop these during the week in the studio. So money decreased during a certain time a year, significantly. And I, you know, I always had this thought, or not always, but more recently have this thought, or money just comes to me, because during those months, things would pop up. And all of a sudden, there'll be a newborn shoot, oh, great, I'll do the newborn shoot, that's, that's essentially what I would get from a wedding. So I would do a newborn shoot would pop up. First birthday shoot would pop up the same thing, all these little things would pop up. So I did always have that thought of Money comes to me. So that is definitely something that helped me, you know, get over that hurdle of, of, you know what it costs to work with you? Because I was like, Well, I don't have it. I don't know where it's going to come from. But it's going to come to me, I guess it's going to work out because Money comes to me. Yeah.

Yeah, it was so helpful. And so simple, right? It's like, oh, she just had the thought in her thought bank, like, Money comes to me. So even though she was like, I don't know, from where it's gonna come. And I think I have some version of that thought, also, in my thought bank, because I've been in situations similar to you where I think mine is a little bit more attached to like, my, like myself, and my identity, it's like, Oh, I'm just a person that will never let myself not have money. Like, I'm responsible for creating my own money. And I just am a person who creates money. So I think that they serve the same purpose, right? It's like, yours is like, Money comes to me, whether I'm creating it, or the universe is bringing it to me, I kind of like that flavor of it. And like, mine is just like, to me, it feels so grounding and controlling of just like, oh, I, I'll always my brain will always figure out a way to create the money that I need. And so you guys can borrow whichever flavor Melissa is, or mine's like chocolate, vanilla. They're both great. Together. Yes, we're all together, and do what you need to do to take that next step. So fast forward, we started working together. What was your, like, main goals that you said, like in our first six months? I forget exactly. If like what you wanted that would look like success for you and your business?

Yeah, well, I mean, I remember watching, you sent over a video of your previous hamsters who worked with you. And a lot of them talked about time and having more time and time management. And that was like something I definitely need to work on. I, you know, I, I would call myself you know, like a free spirit, you know, like spontaneous and I want to do what I feel like doing when I feel like doing it. And I didn't really have necessarily a routine, like a solid routine that I follow. And it was just kind of like wishy washy, like I have to do this, I guess I'll just do this, I have to do that. I guess I'll just do that I have so much other stuff to do. So what am i Yeah, exactly. So one of my main things that I wanted to work with you on was, you know, like, helping me with my schedule and scheduling. And that was like, I think the biggest hurdle is something I am still working on. Like, up until maybe like a week or two ago, I kind of like stopped doing it again. And, you know, a lot of my schedule kind of like works itself out. But like the little things, you know, I just was like, I don't feel like doing it.

Yeah, and we go through phases, too. I think one of the things that was so amazing about like, where you were at the end of our first six months of working together before you created the second was like, you now have this skill of knowing how to manage your time and you have the thoughts about time that are really useful. Like you even just said, when I don't think you realize that you were like, me schedule just kind of works itself out. That's a useful thought. Like, if someone doesn't have that thought, and then they go to schedule the schedule meticulously and then something interrupts it. Their thought is like it's broken. Now the schedule is broken, it's a problem. It's whatever and you might just couple scheduling with the thought. When interruptions happen, like the schedule works itself out. If someone cancels something else slides in. It's like, just that's how it works. And you your brain seeks evidence for that and it also creates more evidence of that and more results of that which I love. So, yeah, you you mastered the skill you under stood the tool, and then you get to decide, I mean, you had a personal issue that happened, you know, with your brother and everything. And your priorities shifted after having been really in a groove of scheduling, talked about this about how like, if, if working in a more loose scheduled structure with only your clean thoughts about time, is serving you and creating the results that you want, I don't have a problem with you taking a break from the meticulous scheduling process until you notice it affecting your results. And then you go back to it what happened.

exactly that, like I was, I was totally comfortable and confident with abandoning essentially the schedule, to, you know, deal with a family emergency. And, you know, I brought work with me, like I ended up you know, for those listening, I stayed with my brother in New Jersey, he was there back and forth, you know, multiple days a week, he was injured at work, and he needed, you know, care. And, you know, I brought work with me, I was doing appointments, you know, from zoom, like from a back bedroom with the, you know, his dog trying to climb all over me and I just, you know, pivoted, I know, we use that term, sometimes pivot and worked around it. And I was totally fine with it. Because I understood the circumstances of what was going on and

creating, like, massive results in terms of like your money, you're like, okay, great, like, I can take care of my brother, I can have a flexible schedule, I can be the person that doesn't have to, like take off or sacrifice, and I can still make my revenue goal for the month. Exactly, yeah. And it just makes you feel so powerful. And I always remind people of this when they're first learning, scheduling, and they want to, like, do it, right. I'm like, listen, I teach a very specific process to help you. But when you find that one part of the scheduling is not helping you. We never use it, use my tools against you. We drop whatever is not serving you at that time, until we see a dip in results. And then we pick it back up. So then what happened after that, too, so like, you were in that for a couple of months, maybe two months or so,

yeah, yeah. So it was a lot of back and forth. And I kind of just like abandon the whole schedule idea. And just kind of, you'll work through it, I still have my thoughts were a lot cleaner surrounding my, my to do list, so to speak, or to be scheduled list. And so I felt good about even just not having the schedule. And then once everything's, you know, all the dust settled, and I was back home and, you know, my regular work routine. I just noticed I was you know, all I guess I'll say slacking off again, where I was like, I have to do this don't feel like it, you know, and just, you know, my mom would reach out and be like, Hey, you want to go, you know, to Marshalls with me or TJ Maxx and I would be in the middle of like editing really? Yeah. And drop.

All sorts of buffering happening, right, which is hard to do. Easier to avoid, for those of you who are newer to the podcast buffering is just seeking false pleasure to avoid experiencing negative emotion. And sometimes negative emotion is just like a natural part of like, showing up to our schedule, because our brain likes comfort and ease and instant gratification and it doesn't love editing photos. And so, yeah, that's fine. And so you start to notice though to like, during that time, I think when you weren't scheduling, you shifted your focus to a different practice of that we teach and happening sessions, which is monthly revenue tracking, and you focus in on those four numbers. And you got really good at simplifying like, here's the goal. Here's what I've collected so far. Here's what is predictable, and then feeling super abundant going into selling and then your brain just did the rest of grading up until the goal Yeah,

yeah, that right, there was a game changer tracking, doing my revenue tracking and I still do it like every couple of days, I'll look at it. Especially like getting to the end of the month and I'm I'm not even coming close to my goal this month. But I'm still okay, because I'm looking ahead also to June and I got It's fine. I'll make it up in June. And I'm gonna have a higher goal probably in June. But I think I remember you saying like, you physically saw my shoulders like drop and like, calm come over me. Once we looked at those numbers and realized like, I was like, my goals, I don't know, 10,000 for the month, and I was like I'm not even close to that. And once we actually sat down and like calculated I was like, Oh, I'm like $500 away from

Yeah, you're like, I was like I'm pretty sure you hit your goal before we even arted and I was like, what's happening here, you w we're nowhere near it. And that's what happens, right? That's like when we're a solopreneur. Our brain is used to just like chattering with itself. And the problem is, in that setting when you're just only in your head is that you can't see your thoughts for what they are you think your thoughts are facts, the all the drama mixes in with the facts, and you just can very easily take what is clearly mathematically one thing and make it a completely other doomsday scenario. And it's comical right in group because we watch people do the same thing as us, and we could see it, so clearly a meme, but then we get coaching. And we're like, we can't see that we're doing Yeah. So that's why it's so important. That's why in happening sessions, we always just say like, you need to focus on a couple the math, with processing emotion and with learning how to manage your mind and find the right thought plan and the right belief plan that's going to allow you to take the action that you want to take, right? Because if you're taking a lot of action from the belief that you had, that you were nowhere close to your goal, what do you think you typically do when you're believing? Like, I'm not, I'm gonna work close, what's your go to?

I mean, obviously, the feeling is, is you know, more like a panic. And then it's like a call that you come from a scarcity place again, of like, I need to make more, I need to make more, and it's not really clean and trying to find clients that are going to align with you. So

you start breaking your policies. Exactly. Right. So we haven't talked about policies on this episode. But yeah, like Melissa sets, all sorts, she's built up all of these beautiful policies to allow for and make room for the business that she actually wants. And she's starting to find the best clients. But when the thoughts don't align, and when we're thinking in drama, it's easy to not honor our policies to make exceptions, and then to end up resenting our business and being like us see, it's just people aren't interested. It's like, well, no, you're not talking to the people that you want to come, you're trying to cast the net to everyone again, from the place of scarcity. And it's like, what do you think if you're, if you're busy believing like, oh, my gosh, I'm nowhere near my goal, and you're feeling like, dread and panic and just like, defeated, and then your mom calls in is like, do you want to go to TJ Maxx? What do you think your chances? Go? I almost never say no to TJ Maxx. Yeah, but like, Yeah, I think it's really high. Like you're just so much more likely to buffer and show up not as your most masterful CEO self, when you're believing that like, what's the point? Like, I'm nowhere near my goal anyway, like, this just feels terrible. I just want to feel better. The human nature way to try and just feel better is to seek it in some sort of instant gratification way. We'll go and just shop and buy something. And as you guys know, I know the insides of everybody's money situation, too. Because we do you need a budget. And it's like, when people tell me like, oh, the money's not there. You know what I see usually an uptick in expenses going up that are just like, unnecessary, but it's human nature. Like everyone does it when we're reactive to feeling like we don't have enough money, we try and prove it to ourselves by like spending and trying to feel better from that, which is temporary, feel good. And then a horrible hangover spending over? Yeah, and the solution really is just the willingness to feel the discomfort and the constraint, or whatever that particular thing calls for. And then you just get back to being like, Okay, what's the math? What's the math here this month? And then if the math isn't adding up in that one month, like, I've had many months of this, or you're currently that's another reason I love to have guests on when they're like, in the middle of something that is not just sunshine and rainbows. Yes, it's inspiring to listen to people who have like, quote, unquote, like, everything's going great. And they're, they've made it like, but I find it way more important to have on clients who have made great strides and are also in the middle of working something out something is not working like they're in the failure collection. We celebrate that over here. It's a part of the process. I talked about it in the intro to this episode. So what So you said something really beautiful. You said, like, Yeah, I'm not. Well, this is a thought not a fact. I'm not coming close to hitting my goal. I'd rather hear the numbers Right when X, current cash collected is this current predictable says like, we that is the Java speaking over the map. But if we're looking at it, and even the math is saying like, Okay, I've collected x, it is not the goal. And we're tasked with a goal 50% of the goal, then it's like, oh, what do we decide that we want to believe about the future?

Right, and I'm at about 40% of my goal right now. And we're, you know, we're coming into Memorial Day weekend, and my predicted income is zero, literally, I just updated it yesterday, my predictive income is zero for the rest of this month. potential income is, I think it's like 1200 to 2600. But it's still not going to have me reach my goal. So, you know, I guess there's a combination of I'm in the negative right now, where I'm like, Okay, I'm not reaching my goal, it's just, it's, it's not going to happen this month, even the potential you know, I have zero actual predictive, you know, income coming in the your potential income. You know, I would love if all of these people reached out to me by tomorrow, before I go away, and that, yeah, there's potential for that to happen. But you know, I'm comfortable with the, the thought that it's probably not going to happen. And I'm just not going to reach my goal this month.

So we'll do a little bit of coaching right here live, as well as like, just giving the audience and understanding of what you're talking about when you're saying predictive versus potential. So within the revenue tracking, we talk about, like, all of the the variables that contribute to you hitting your goal. So there's your cash collected, which is how much you already have towards your goal. There's your predictable income, which is anything that's like an invoice that's due that has a due date within the month, or like, people that have a subscription model or anything like that. Or like, you know, monthly like payment plans, any anything like that. And then there's potential income, which is like conversational or verbal interest that could convert or I'm going to a pop up market, and I could potentially sell X there, right? It's like potential income, but it's not necessarily wouldn't go in the predictable box, right. And then there is what we choose to believe. Like in the level, we choose to believe in our goal, regardless of what the math says. So this is the part that's like the most advanced part of revenue tracking. So it's like, I want you to look at all the numbers and then not make them mean anything about the potential for you to hit your goal. What I always say is we prepare for the worst case scenario, which is what Melissa is doing, essentially, she's looking at all the numbers, she's saying, okay, worst case, I make for 40% of my goal that looks like x, this is what that would look like for me. But then we believe, in the best case scenario of hitting the goal until the very last second, because this is what that does. If you decide with I mean, we're saying there's a certain amount of days left, but really what would or I'm away for the remainder of the month. And that's fine. And you have your own back on that. And you love that decision. So you have one working day that you want to have, what would happen? And how would you show up differently, if you believed in the inevitability of the 10k? Or I don't actually know what your goal is? Yeah, if it's of the 10k. All happening by the end of the month, like it's already done, and you're like, Wow, this is crazy. must all come in, in the last month, what would that look like? What how would you show up differently? What would you who would you converse with? Or what would you what would happen differently than the way that you're currently thinking about it?

I guess it's interesting, because I feel like I did that this week already. I basically was like, Yo, let them ask a catch up is my vision. All right, we got, you know, a couple of days left before I'm away, and I don't have necessarily much expected income. So let's figure out like where it could potentially come from. And I reached out to some clients so I was more proactive about like directly reaching out to people who've, you know, expressed interest in me and then there was other people that didn't express interest in me that I was like, I'm gonna ask them if they're interested anyway because I'm interested in them and I To get I got some positive feedback. And, you know, one in particular was like, Yeah, I'm totally interested, I'm going on vacation, I'll reach I'll be back in the, you know, the second week of June or something like that. So I, you know, I take that and go, okay. If it doesn't happen this month, if it doesn't go on now, it's like, I'm leaving tomorrow. Afternoon. So, you know, I not necessarily even have much in the morning, I think I blocked it out on my schedule, so people can't make any appointments with me. So you know, this, is it a couple of hours left. Yeah,

that could be a part of the math, right? It's like, he was just like, oh, well, there's more time. But like, really, in your brain? The math is like, okay, there's three hours. And during those three hours, like, what am I even willing to take on? But what I find interesting about that is like, if you believed it was done, and you didn't want to like overwork or hustle there, would you be like, is there some sort of creative way where I could take like, what would have to happen? In order for you to reach reached bridge, the gap, your gap tickle? I mean, what would have to be sold? Like what would have to happen?

I mean, I have one client in particular, who was supposed to have an appointment this for finalizing an album that we're doing, so she would have to just pay that invoice in full. I had another one who ended up canceling her session, because she got ended up having COVID. So we rescheduled that. So that's another thing that was it was expected that now is shifted to June. So she sort of

from that, it's like, well, yeah, what are other things like that would have to happen? What would change about the way that you accept deposits? Or like, even with those other people that you're reaching out with? Can you be like, Yeah, perfect. And if you want to reserve that date, right now, I'll just send you an invoice. And this is what the deposit is.

Yeah, that's I would have to be more accessible for the clients to do that. And that is actually something that I worked on this week I worked on, like, be able to send people to a specific link page, I typically like to talk to them first to explain the whole process, the whole experience. But I do have that available for the people who are like, I want to book.

Yeah. And so even to tie it all together, it's like, that's what you would have to do. And what would you have to believe that would allow you to not talk to them, and believe that this was the perfect thing for them. And for you, for them to book

that there's they're just ready. Even if they're thinking about it, they're ready to book?

Yeah, that they're ready. Yeah. So I can't even tell you how big of a shift that was for me and my own business. And I was like, Oh, my clients are ready. Like, I just didn't even realize, like, I wasn't believing that my clients were ready, which is why I was like, I have to have consults because my clients don't believe in me or in the product or in themselves enough to book without me talking to them or convincing them right.

And that's something I'm trying to step away from a little bit. I have a whole consult call. I have like bullet points I touch on during the call. And I love to do those calls. I love to like laugh a little bit with people get a sense of them. But I shouldn't make them have to do that if they're ready to book, right. Like I actually had a client that I she was like, I want to book How do I book and I was like, Well, you have to make a call and talk to me first. Just like I'm talking to you now. Yeah, but but I have like bullet points and like things. Like she was trying to give me her money. And I was like, No,

I did this the other day, like I had a console into this happening session and a console line up two weeks. And I hadn't created in my mind clean policy around how I wanted to enroll people into this version. And I was like, Yeah, I have the enrollment dates, but why am I taking consults? What am I going to do with the end of these consoles? And I just like was deciding in the moment what to do. So like, this girl was kind of like get so interesting. Yeah, like, definitely. And this would be the point where I would typically sell her but my thought was like, but I have a lunch. Is that weird? So I was just like, Okay, great. So just stay tuned for the emails about the opening on June 1. And then like, three weeks later, it's like, she has completely different thoughts and feelings and what was the point I stalled her out because of my own belief that it needed to be a certain way. That's just like offer you and everyone listening like there's no right way to do business. It doesn't even matter if you have evidence in your past that this totally works for you. It's like What's worked to get you here is not going to work to get you there. So we just want to be like unto ourselves, like, where am I telling myself that, okay, I have to do this differently. But we can't do that and still hold the belief that they're not ready. Because that's not going to work, you're just gonna be like, Okay, try and buy, here you go, she's not ready a great, you're not gonna, like, hold the belief for them, you're not going to be reminding them of the value that they get. So, thank you so much for just like letting us in and showing us a little bit about what it's like when you're, when you're doing the work and you're in the thick of it. Is there anything else that you would want to like? What share with someone who's like, just uncertain if they can do it? Or if they're ready?

I mean, it's along the lines of like, what you say with like, just let the math catch up with your vision. Like if you know, quit quitting, your job is in the back of your mind, and you're like, I think that's what's gonna just do it, just do it quit. Like, it sounds terrifying. Sounds like What do you mean? quit my job? Like, you know what, again, like, how am I gonna get money, you know, that let the math catch up with it? Like, you know, like, just take, take the leap, drink the Kool Aid.

I know, right? Like, it's fun, this party. I know. It's like the party where we're also people are getting results, and they have lots of time and lots of money, and they're hitting their results. And we were joking around at the last event that I saw your two events ago that I saw you at where you were, like, in a scarcity emotional state in your body. And I was like, isn't it so funny, because like, you literally just had multiple months in a row where you exceeded your financial goal and are literally tracking better than anyone in the metrics tab, I will say of all of my clients, like pretty straight on to exactly hitting your goal. And I'm like, I want her to fail more because like, she's gonna start to get used to how good it feels to just be like, right on and then she's gonna make it a problem when she fails. And I'm like, it doesn't have to look like any one thing you could just handle. Not hitting a month hitting a month but ultimately, you're just gonna get better and better at it and then you're still gonna have an off month and then you're gonna be a better

that's why it's happening this month.

Shoot, I did it. What's What's this thing and then you just get back to asking those high

quality right? Yeah, yeah. And zoom in zoom out. So good.

So for those of you guys who are in the New York area, or who just want to check out like the work that she does and are really serious about having your own transformation in the way that you look at your body, especially moms moms, it is amazing job working with moms. I did a boudoir photo shoot while I was pregnant on maternity one and those photos she just posted some so if you're even just curious what I look like super Prego and head over and follow the lesson where can they connect with you if they're interested in a boudoir photoshoot? Or just seeing your work?

Yeah, um, you can find me at Melissa Mira That's my website. My Instagram is boudoir by Melissa M. Got to add that M at the end because somebody else stole the boudoir by Melissa. Is there no, no underscore just before by Melissa M. Perfect. And then I have a private VIP Facebook group that I'll do giveaways and stuff in there. That's where most of my clients are. That's where most of my my girls see, like any kind of promotions or you know, if I'm doing I do booty calls where I do like specialty sets. And that's where, you know, I'll post about it first before it goes out to like Instagram and

yeah, so good. And that group is really fun. She does a really good job of just like, making it a fun place to be on the interwebs and not like just like a sales page. Like it's just a really fun place to be really. Female empowering. Good. Yeah. And all of that information will be in the show notes. If you're driving, don't worry, you can just click over there. Or if you follow me on Instagram, you can find her through me she is always up. All up in our Instagrams we are with each other. So thank you so much Melissa for coming on the show and for kind of like pulling back the curtain for us and sharing a little bit about of your, about your journey. I think this was so fun. I've done this with a couple of my clients where like they were on early on and then I update people on where they're at later and it's just mind blowing. I know I did it with Amanda sanella who had lost her job and COVID I did it with Danielle who was an engineer and then quit her job and now is the CEO of good intense and is going to be guest coaching a YNAB a you need a budget like masterclass for the hamsters in the summer. And, and I can't wait to do for you. So,

thanks so much for having me. And yeah, I hope that like people listening who are even considering working with you, like, take this as a sign that they should because it really is going to open you know, so many doors like inside yourself and just in your in your world and your future and your future goals and it's just an incredible experience and it literally is life changing. So

you can't unknow what you know, you can't unknow what you know once you know it, yeah, like dammit now I see that all the time and it's painful but it's like come and join us it's so good. All right, you guys go check out Melissa go get naked and show off your body and get get those photos taking it was such a cool experience for me. But the rest of you guys Yeah, come on come and hang out with us in happening sessions or we're on the on the gram share with us anything that resonated with you with what Melissa said. And we'll catch you next week. Hey, hamsters if you want to learn more about today's topic, head over to what's forward slash podcast. That's what's happening. What s h a p p y and forward slash podcast? If you're a business owner, and you're resonating with what we talked about here, what are you even doing come hang out with me over where the party's at on Instagram at what's happening? W Jess again that's happy. Ha p p y and img and book a discovery call to see if coaching is your next best step.

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