Ever stuck with something for nine years straight? Jess has, and it's the annual tradition that inspired this episode. We're talking about "The Letter to Future You" workshop, where Jess helps you craft New Year's Resolutions with the wisdom of Future You, one year down the road. This year was the 9th round, and it's been a game-changer!
She spill the beans on what chatting with her future self taught her. Quick lessons: success doesn't care where you start the year, you gotta align goals with what you really want, and there's a difference between wanting something and just wanting to want it.
Join us for clips from this year, throwbacks to past ones, and a cringeworthy video of Jess reading my first letter back in 2016. It's all about growth, commitment, and the lessons from this kickass annual tradition. Ready for the inspo? Tune in!
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*This Transcript is Autogenerated*
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 0:00
Regardless of whether you're starting in a good place or a bad place, or feeling strong or feeling exhausted already, you do need to take a moment to create peace and unconditional love for who you've been up until now. Welcome to sincerely future you a podcast that helps ambitious women like you make decisions today with the future you in mind. Do you have an annual process or ritual within your business? How about even a long running annual tradition in your life like a holiday one or something? Do you have anything that you've been showing up to for nine years, because there is a level of insight that I can tell you can only be gained through mastery through showing up not just for the quick wins, but no matter what year after year showing up because it's simply what you do? Simply who you are. And because you're committed to the long haul to the future to the future version of you, that has it already done. In today's episode, you'll learn about the annual tradition that actually inspired this podcast, the entire concept of it sincerely future you. This is my letter to future you exercise that turned into a workshop and now has an entire cult following, where I help you create your new year's resolutions with a bit of a twist. And that is with the help of future you a year from now. Exactly. So the woman who has already done it, and this year was the ninth annual practice, I actually cannot believe that we've been doing this for nine years to think about how my life and my business has changed. But really the magic is how many of you, you listeners who have been along this journey with me doing this have been seeing the results of this exercise yourself. So if you're brand new to the show, and you have no idea what I'm talking about, I cannot wait for you to see the power of this exercise and get acquainted with that powerhouse future you. But before we dive in, we got to get you hype. You know, it is time for the hype sesh January, it's a month of motivation of beginnings. We notice Okay, in fact, this past Monday was a perfectionist nightmare. Following the date. 123123 Yep, December 31 was one of those crazy days, we began a new day, a new week, a new month, a new year on a Monday, what? It's actually perfect, which means that there's nowhere for you to hide. There's no excuses, no procrastinating, you have to actually face and feel whatever is in front of you. But my love, there's just no way around doing this. Imagine wanting to be a marathoner running, and getting to mile 10. And feeling pain, feeling discomfort, feeling doubt about whether you can do it, wanting to cry, and then imagine just laying down. No, you don't see people laying down there physically, like they cannot go any further. But that's not what I'm talking about. Right? You don't lay down, you simply regroup. You either slow your pace, you get some water, or you keep going through the pain. Pain is a part of what you're signing up for in pursuit of a big life and a big business. And if you're listening to this show, I know you want both of those things. And if the only kind of pain you're experiencing right now is a lack of results, or maybe some results, but just those gradual results that don't blow your mind and get you psyched. I wonder Does that feel better than choosing pain in advance? Going for it risking embarrassment, doing tedious work, that isn't your expertise in quotes? I promise you that future you is just waiting for you to get out of your own way darling CEO, she knows that all the stories that you have about what you can and can't do there. So last year, how does she know? Because she's already done it and she's listening to you. Like you're one of those delusional people that's like, okay, sweetheart, tap you on the head and say like, I know, it feels really hard, but we've already done it. Get over yourself, get over your stories. And I mean, this put the most love in my heart for you because I know future you and I know that she has so much compassion for what you're going through. And at the same time, she also knows that this part where you're putting one foot in front of the other during the pain, whether you're going for it when you're telling yourself I know and I believe I can do it. Even with zero ever Instead, it's possible that she knows that that is the only way for you, you were made for this. All right, let's go.
This episode is about my favorite annual tradition. And that is the letter to future you. So if you are new to the show, and you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll just summarize it for you. Essentially, I have a practice that started innocently kind of just for myself, I did it with a coach that I was working with a fitness coach, actually, for our goals. We did it in a very different way when I first did it, but it was just like, write a letter to your future self. That was kind of the guidelines, there were no guidelines. And I wrote this letter to myself. And the things that came out of me when I wrote this letter that I wanted, I don't think I really even knew that I wanted until I started writing it. And I was not very practice in writing down any goals. That wasn't something that I did back then in 2015. And this is, before I had kids, this was before I really had an established business I wasn't, I didn't think of myself as an entrepreneur, even though I was doing some little things on the side, I just knew that I wanted to end the year different than I started it. And if you can resonate with that, you're gonna want to make sure that you make the time and sit aside to do this practice. Now this episode, we're not going to give you the how of how to write your letter. If you want to do this alongside us, you can either go to previous episodes, they're always the start of the year episode for I believe the last three years, we've had an episode on letter to yourself. So you can search that within the sincerely future podcast or you can get the access to the replay of the workshop that we did on December 31, you can get that by going to the link in my Instagram bio. So go over connect with me over on Instagram at just McKinley Wayna. That's je s s MC Kinley, we know you YENO. Today, I want to talk to you about something that happened a little bit different from doing this practice for nine years, I feel like I'm entering my mastery season of the future you letter, I am getting really acquainted with the process of talking to the version of me one year from now. Now, when we're connecting with our future selves, when we're trying to think from our future, it's different than thinking about our future. I want you to hear me when I say this, I'm thinking from my future, which means I'm asking questions and seeking answers from the person who has already been through already done, already achieved, already felt in her body, all of the things that she needed to go through and do and feel in order to be where she's at and have the life that we want have the goals that we want, when we're starting out the year, what she might say, would be different than if you were using your current brain and all of your current baggage and drama that you have starting the year about what you can and can't do and trying to build your year from that place that is only ever going to give you if any growth very very gradual growth. But if you want one of those years, that skyrockets that changes that pivots in a profound way. You need to start practicing building your future from your future. Now this can apply to your business or your life. This letter exercise actually is my only exercise that I do all year that really is for anyone. It's not a business specific exercise, although I encourage you to apply it to your revenue goals and your client goals, etc. But what I wanted to talk to you about today were the insights that I gained from communicating with future versions of myself nine years in a row. I was reading through not just my letter that I wrote last year for this year, but all nine of my letters. And there was a through line, there was a thread that kept coming up a couple of threads. And I wanted to share those insights with you. Number one, is that your future success is entirely unaffected by whether you're starting the year in a good place or a bad place. This is really great news, you guys. I have nine letters, which means that on January 1 of the last nine years, there were some years where I was in a terrible headspace. In fact, there were some years where I didn't write the letter until the seventh or the eighth, like I wrote January 1, cross out seven or eight and I could see it there. Like I was just not kicking off the year with a bang. There were some years where I wrote that I was in the middle of like a three week Grey's Anatomy binge, where all I would do when I would wake up was watched TV, which isn't my favorite hobby or practice. But right, where was I, a couple of years ago, this, this was the reality. There were years when I woke up on January 1, sleeping on my couch from relationship issues, or feeling extremely hung over from just not really living my life with intention in the healthy and masterful way that I wanted. And sometimes, I started off the year feeling incredibly proud of the previous year, and on fire and motivated. But what I will say is, regardless of the mood I was in, on the day that I wrote this letter, it had zero impact on the results that I created in the following year. I want you to know that because you're not at a disadvantage. If you're feeling like last year by Can we just delete it from the record, please. But what I will say is that, regardless of whether you're starting in a good place, or a bad place, or feeling strong or feeling exhausted already, you do need to take a moment to create peace and unconditional love for who you've been up until now. Because you cannot have deep love and pride for your future self without including the person that got you to that future, which is all of the versions of past you. So you want to just have radical forgiveness, or radical self love. For everything that's happened up until now. Number two, sometimes the greatest lesson I found in reflecting back and reading my letter wasn't that I achieved all of my goals, but it was seeing how in touch I was with what I really wanted. So for example, I think, in 2019, is a prime example of a year that I wrote goals at the beginning of the year, that when I finished that year, not only had I not achieved many, or if any of the goals, but I didn't even want them. I was like What was I thinking? Why did I say wanted this, what came up for me was oh, I really wasn't building from the future. I wasn't asking my future self what I wanted, I was trying to come from exactly where I was, and trying to build the year based on my past based on what I'd been doing up at now. I just wanted more of everything that I had. That's what I kind of wrote down in my letter. And the truth was that 2019 and 2020 were really, really pivotal years for me in my life, you know, that my marriage ended my career, I was doing fitness coaching, I wanted to make a shift into life coaching and business coaching. I just wanted to surround myself with different people, I wanted a different kind of energy. And I wasn't being honest about that with myself. So there is a level of honesty that comes up sometimes when we're reflecting and we're like, wow, I can see now the indicators of what it looks like when I'm not telling myself the truth. And that was a huge lesson, even in the years that I didn't really accomplish anything on my letter. Number three is there's a difference between wanting something and wanting to want it every year, I think there's something on my list that I get to the end of the year. And I'm like, Oh, I didn't show up to that at all. And it's not that I didn't want it. But it's that I want to want it. So an example is I wanted to get back to speaking 100% Spanish in my house with my kids. That is something that I've written down multiple years and then not really shown up to in a big, like full committed way. And that's because the truth is, I want the result of it. I want to want to do that. But what it required was actually having lots of points of contention with my son, he's at an age where he doesn't want to be speaking Spanish in the way that that's my goal, but it would require me having to force him and we have to pick our battles as parents and I realized you know what, I have enough other priorities for him. I have him continue to go to Spanish Immersion camps and after school and we do speak it you know, on a daily basis, just not all of the time. And so I wanted to want it but I've become onto myself about those things. So once you've written your letter, I would go through with a fine tooth comb and like really be honest with you yourself if you can just be like, do I really want this? Am I committed? Like, if whatever I wrote down I had to do? Would I be all in on this? Or would I kind of be resentful of the fact that I chose it as a goal, I have permission to just cross it right off before you even get started. Another one of those for me was hitting 100k, I wanted to want it for multiple years in a row. And then it wasn't until the fourth time that I said it, that there was a difference. So when I looked at it, I really wanted it, I was like, whatever it takes for real. And that really included feeling your feelings. So that brings me to the fourth thing, which is, you have to be willing to feel whatever it takes more than you need to know the exact how, yes, a lot of people try and get really into the nitty gritty of, okay, I want to write this letter I want to write for my future self. But I don't know how to talk to her, like, how did I do these things? What is it, you don't need to get so caught up in the how you're going to get there? Really, we're not going to know what's works until it works. And then we look back, right? Hindsight is 2020. However, what I can guarantee you is that if you want to create a result that you've never created before, you're going to have to feel things that you have been unwilling to feel up until this moment. And sometimes it's not the emotions that you expect, I think obvious emotions that we know we need to feel discomfort, fear challenge, right. But there are some sneaky other emotions that sometimes you think oh, okay, but like those ones are really off the table. And those are the exact ones you need to feel. Sometimes you need to be willing to feel salesy, or inexperienced, or pushy, right. Some people are like, Oh, I don't want to feel pushy or salesy or an experience. And I'm so interesting, because in order to master sales, you need to be willing to suck at it before you're good at it. I have plenty of episodes on sales, right? Go back and listen to those episodes. But there's no way around the failure collection, you guys know this, it's one of the most underlying lessons of becoming future you is opening yourself up to failure. And if you're unwilling to feel that in your body, then you are blocking yourself from its opposite emotion, which is success. Okay? So sometimes, when you're looking for an emotion that you really want to feel, the hint is, think about what the opposite to that emotion is, and go towards that when you're willing to feel that or open yourself up to that when you're willing to feel those emotions, then you can really fully access the goal emotion. Next is a willingness to do the math of a goal is an indicator that you're going to get closer to it. So when people give me these goals, these pie in the sky goals, and then they show up the next year. And then like, it didn't really happen. I'm like, Well, what was the math of that happening. So for example, if you want to run a marathon, but someone's telling me that they just want to run a marathon this year, but they don't really know which marathon they don't know when they don't even know how many miles are in a marathon. They haven't looked into what training would look like what how much time it would require them to do it, if they're committed to that timing, all of that if they're if they're not willing to even look at the details of it, they're less likely to create it. Same thing with your business. Of course, if you are looking to create six figures, which is just like that common popular goal that everyone says it measures have a basic level of success as an entrepreneur. And if you put that there, but then you don't even know how much you would have to sell or how many clients what, what would be one example of a path to creating that. It's an indicator that you're not really going to open yourself up to get it done. And one really one of my favorite ones on here that a lesson is when I look back and I look at the goals I set in January, committing in January, either monetarily or to a date on your calendar or with outside accountability is 100% necessary. If you are not committed in January in some way that like is putting your money where your mouth is or putting something on your calendar to prove your loyalty to your future self. I don't believe you. And you know, it doesn't matter if I believe you. It matters if you believe you. And if you're not willing to take some sort of action committed like I always say for me, I'm very clear looking forward in the year. Okay, who what co Ching room? Do I want to be in? What networking event or what motivational events on my calendar? Do I need to make sure that I'm in what travel if I wanted to do a Spartan Race or I wanted to last year one of my goals was to take my whole family to Costa Rica, and how does once in a lifetime trip, what I did immediately in January was I texted my entire family and I said, Hey, we're going no matter what are you guys in or not? Whether you're, and I'm letting you know, we're going and this is the month we're going. So if you're in, I'm gonna send you some options for houses, and we're gonna get this going. And we booked the air b&b in January. And then I kind of let the rest of it go for a little bit, because I knew Alright, now we're going we booked the Airbnb, right? It was committed, it was already done in the future. So when you're applying that to your business, make sure you're not just giving yourself lip service. This letter to yourself is like a love letter. Right? When we're thinking about commitment to a goal, this process can either build up your self trust with yourself, or it can break it down. That's why I said it's important for you to go through and really see like, do I want this? Or do I want to want it and cross things off. Because I'd rather you put things on there that you really want to show up to that you want to be committed to the process of not just the result of because showing up and taking action throughout the year. That is how you show yourself the deepest self love not by going and getting a massage or a mani pedi self love looks like showing up today in a way that might be uncomfortable or hard so that your future self knows that you're taking care of her. Okay. And then the final insight that I learned by reading all nine of these letters is that hitting your goals isn't really the point they're made up, you're making them up, right, growing towards them, or taking action towards them, and learning about yourself in the process
or your industry. If we're talking about business, that is the point. And every year, whether you hit your goal, that's just one metric. I love the stat that I've pulled from running the masterful CEO school mastermind, time and time again, that there is always the most successful person in the room in terms of hitting their goals, usually claims that they have never once hit their monthly goal. But in the process of collecting fails towards their monthly goal, every single month for six months. They have massive growth. And when I look back on my revenue goals that I set for myself nine years in a row, only one time did I exceed my goal one time in nine years, and I continue to have growth years, I continue to blow my mind with what's possible. And you can too. And so I really hope that these insights help set you up for writing your own letter in a way that is going to set yourself up for success. And make sure that you're not just focusing on the day that you become future you. But the process of becoming future you that cheesy line that we always say right? It's not just the destination, if you focus on the destination you miss out on the journey, that is what it's all about. So are you showing up with unconditional or conditional love for yourself in this process? Are you saying okay, I'm setting all of these goals, but then at the end of the year, if I don't hit it, right, we're not going to be able to be proud or we're not going to be able to feel success in our body or out loud or we're not going to be able to share? No, we want to share and welcome and love ourselves no matter what, just for showing up. Now we're going to give you a little bit of a taste of some clips from this years past years and actually, hopefully me reading my very first letter to my future self back on December of 2016. It was an emotional day for me. And it is the process that showed me the power of this exercise. If you're interested in doing this letter, as I said, Please, you can still get the replay by going to the link in my bio at Jess McKinley bueno on Instagram. And make sure that you put this time aside for yourself future you will think you have a beautiful week, a beautiful month and a beautiful year.
Erika Maddamma 24:42
So thank you Erica for being willing to get out there to feel uncomfortable to be tired to hate your alarm clock but get up anyway, to feel guilty about giving yourself too much. So much time to set your goals to ask more of your employees and compensate them appropriately to launch a new program and learn through failure to have hard conversations to work on your communication shouldn't make all relationships better, stronger, to be determined to crush your goals no matter what 200k is such a sweet little number looking back, isn't it? Now please take the time to go celebrate. I know you want to rush on to the next thing to figure out how to make your healthy habits collaboration bigger, how to gain bigger reach, how to make more money, but please stop, stop and sit in this moment of achievement. Appreciate the fails. love who you are right this minute. Despite any shortcomings or flaws, you are amazing. You are extraordinary. Enjoy this amazing, beautiful life you have jumped up and created and no more is coming. But it's okay to pause. You're the best mom, sister daughter, wife, CEO, your employees love working for you, your clients love your services. Together, you and me are on the boat, go pop some champagne and celebrate your amazing
Speaker 1 25:48
when I was writing this to myself, I was talking about fitness goals. And so in October, I had hired a personal trainer for $1,500, which to me to be able to afford a trainer was something that I had always wanted to do and it felt so elite was what I wrote, fitness continues to be an important part of your life and your investments. You were in a Spartan Trifecta this year, and a lot of your training was in preparation for that that was crazy. So I did all three of the crazy distances. My longest one took me five hours and 17 minutes to finish. They are endurance events. It was crazy. And then as someone who is a self proclaimed person who hated to travel, I flew out to Oklahoma where my best friend lives and ended up surviving the craziest travel experience of my life. I slept in the Dallas airport, I did not think that I would have been able to show up for myself in the way that I did and, and handle all just this unexpected change thrown at me at every step of that trip. And they made it and I totally enjoyed the out of my trip. And I flew back home with no anxiety. And that was such a milestone. Something that actually did kind of come into fruition was I was talking about like, connecting with my emotions, which I love to cut out the feelings part of the model for anyone who's really with the model. I like to skip that part. I really got in touch with my emotions this year. And I was writing about being that person that future strengthened my bonds with my domestic partner, actually spending I talk about like night watching nightly TV and winding down with my family as being like my favorite part of the way the end of the day. And we like putting the phones outside of the room. And that is a practice that we did all year long.
Speaker 2 27:42
What I found interesting, as I'm kind of dealing with some of the same fears, when I wrote this, it was a hard day I had had a like a really bad review, or what I took as a bad review from a client, I was processing through a lot of those emotions, it took me back to that moment, which made me feel all of those things. And I really like how you had me write down measurables because then I can take the drama out of it. So I'm excited to do the same math this year with the same questions and, and measurables. But what I absolutely loved was when I wrote you know, the goals are things we have achieved. I'm like, wow, I've done a lot of these. So that was like super powerful, because you know, I'm kind of feeling down and now like Oh, I'm kind of feeling the same feelings and thoughts and like we've talked during happening sessions if I can expand this much and increased my income by oh my gosh, it was like 800% or something crazy like and those are with shitty thoughts. So what can I do with clean thoughts and so that was really where I felt really amazing when I started reading the things that I've achieved and I've done a lot of those I've developed some next level coaching programs or products like as a pre step or a post up to my coaching I had on here explore group coaching I'm doing I'm only offering group coaching right now because my one on ones are full. I established a budget and organizing and managing my finances.
Jessica McKinley Uyeno 29:15
I want to share something super personal so I thought I would show you what I did last year a year ago today I wrote a letter to myself that says Dear future Jess openness on December 31 2016 love the old you right? But I really think that it's important that we set both goals, both long term and short term and really really big ones right, like huge goals. So I'm just gonna read you some of this. It's super personal. So I wrote a little bit about what happened the morning of December 31 2015. And then I wrote even though dealing with blah blah blah blah blah, can be extremely stressful. You woke up knowing that no matter what you will not let what you cannot control All determine the fate of your marriage interfere with your destiny for greatness, or impede your happiness and gratitude for everything that is amazing in your life. Then I wrote current things to be grateful for a list of some things that were I was grateful for in the beginning of my business, which it's so funny to read some of these numbers right now, I wrote down my weekly income that week, which is significantly increased, which is amazing, I wrote that my dad had invested in what's happening my business, I wrote up my plans to travel to La Dallas, St. Thomas, Paris, Spain, Nashville in 2016, which I did all but St. Thomas because of the Zika virus, dammit. And then I wrote down some current fears to overcome, which I'm not going to share here. But I encourage you to do this as well. And then write down the the reverse of that what your life would be like if you if you overcame those fears. And then I put some goals. So my goals by today, I will have earned $100,000 collectively through Beachbody and what's what's happening online program and any other means didn't quite hit that goal. But it's because I didn't get to launch my what's happening program, it's gonna be launched in 2017. But that was because the pregnancy was unexpected and amazing. But my second goal was, and this might be really weird to share, but I wrote down by today, I will be expecting my first child. So I wanted to start a family so badly. Oh, my goodness. Um, and yeah, so today, I Natalie Unexpect. My first job that I have one. Um, and I wrote that down because it was something that at the time wasn't really possible, financially, and where I was that in my life, and I knew that I wanted it so badly anyway. And so I wrote it down. And I really believe in the power of positive affirmations. And so that was a huge win for me, and it came true. So number one, I got about half way there, maybe a little more. And number two, I will be expecting my first child. No, I had one. Number three by today, I will be full time Beachbody and what's happening, I crushed that goal. I went full time Beachbody in February of last year. So maybe two months after I wrote this down. Then also, by today, I will have read cover to cover 12 books. So oh, I said that I didn't know what this other paper was. But this is the list of books that I wanted to read by December 31. It was a couple more than 12. And I read 13 Yeah, so I reached that goal. Wow, God. This is cool, because I didn't hit all of these. But some of the big ones I wanted to hit that I didn't think I was gonna hit I did. You don't write down your goals. Whether you hit them or not. You're you I promise you you'll you'll get further with your goals. If you write them down. Then if you didn't write them down at all, even if you don't hit them, the point isn't really to hit them. The point is to strive for them. And then my last goal was to have 50 personally sponsored coaches and 500 coaches within our network for for Beachbody and I'm about halfway there again, the pregnancy kind of threw a lot of my goals for the loop for a loop but no regrets that then I just wrote myself a little note at the bottom that said Jess, you are a crusher of goals. You are born to change the world to be a source of light and positivity in the life lives of your friends, family and strangers. Take your life seriously while having a kick ass time. I'm so proud of all you did in 2016 Are you crying yet? Oh my gosh, I know myself way to bring on 2017 There is a lot more fun to be had goals to crush and lives to change. And yet right now today you just need to be grateful for all you have. I love you so very much, you I hope you're enjoying this episode, but I am bursting with the seams pee my pants excited about the plans I have for my clients and I in this 20/24 year. And in case you haven't heard the prices of my one on one and my advanced coaching mastermind will be going up significantly after this round masterful CEO school which if you're new to the show is my six month group coaching program where we transform you as a business owner into a masterful CEO. You'll get weekly coaching track important metrics, learn my masterful scheduling and meticulous money processes. And most importantly, you're gonna have fun and feel, dare I say relaxed while you're doing it. We meet live in person for two days halfway through the round and the rest we meet virtually weekly. This program has been grossly underpriced intentionally as I experimented with how I wanted to deliver it but after four rounds, it is a well oiled machine that is producing incredible testimonials. This is offer is going to be going from 6k to 18k. After this round, I've gladly paid 1518 and $25,000. Time and time again for rooms that either matched or even under delivered on what I offer my clients, we simply know how to over deliver because we understand what you want, which is time mastery, Money Mastery, and, of course, mastery of your own CEO drama. We don't want to be doing this all on our own, the official pre enrollment will be January 8 to the 12. So here's what you're going to do go to sincerely future you.com and get on the waitlist. Each round we find fun new ways to push the envelope with what's possible people just get results faster and faster. And the room keeps attracting a higher quality level female entrepreneur and this year I can't wait for that to include you can't wait to meet everyone in the March class. We already have quite a few people pre enrolled that reserved their spots from the last round. So go secure your spot and join them and future you will be so glad you did
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