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180. Overcoming Feeling Overwhelmed

Updated: Mar 7

We all feel overwhelmed, but what steps are you actively taking to feel better? Do you even know how? And NO, you don’t necessarily have to drop responsibilities or lighten your workload. Fear not! Coach Jess is here with not one, but FOUR solutions to stop feeling overwhelmed!

Also listen to the end to hear how you can take control of your future by joining my next Master Class on how to be a “Masterful CEO.” It’s coming up on September 6th. Click HERE to sign up:

Catch up with Coach Jess and Sincerely, Future You on:

*Transcript is autogenerated*

Jessica McKinley Uyeno 0:01

When you're in the middle of the process, you kind of feel crazy. When you're in the middle of believing something new. You have believe it and you have don't. You feel completely stretched and pulled and that is by design. That is exactly the sweet spot right before the magic happens. Welcome to sincerely future you a podcast that helps ambitious women like you make decisions today with the future you in mind. Are you feeling overwhelmed? Thinking that you have a lot on your plate or that you need to dial it back slow down or lower your goals until things calm down? For the love of goodness, no, this episode is here to rescue you. We're going to show you three causes and four solutions to your overwhelm. So if that's what you're feeling, you can listen to this episode. It's a quick one, we're gonna get you right back to doing what you do best darling, serving your peeps. I've been hearing some trends popping up in your guys's coaching inquiries. And if you're new to the show, Hi, my name is Jess McKinley bueno. And I am a life and business coach for women entrepreneurs, I coach women who are at the very start of their businesses in the splash pad. And then I coach masterful CEOs, my clients who are business owners who really want to take their business to the next level scale and make more money without losing their time and losing their mind. And it doesn't matter which room I seem to go in over the last couple of weeks, the same trends are popping up and getting the same questions from you all the same obstacles, the same few things that you're struggling with. And I've been continuously sending people to some of the same few podcast episodes so that they can solve for their issues. And those are my VIP episodes. Very important podcasts. So for the next few weeks, I'm going to bring you some of the most raved about episodes from the show to rock your world. If you're newer to the show, get excited. If you are a longtime listener, you can also get pumped September is the perfect time for these refreshers. But before we dive in, though, we've got to give you your weekly hype sesh today's hype says isn't actually for me though. It's from future you. I'm just the messenger Don't kill me. Here is what future you had to say. Dear me when I'm feeling stuck, and in that unproductive cycle, that thing that we're annoyed that you keep doing. It's not who we are. It's not even a part of who we are. It's just who you keep telling yourself that we are. I am begging you, me. If you want to step into a future where you break your bad habits. Stop telling yourself that this is your habit. Stop using phrasing that is talking about your identity. Stop feeding the beast, stop saying out loud Stop complaining to other people don't even ask your coach for questions. prefacing it with I'm struggling with this. Let it stay a thing of the past. Yes, we can solve for it. But you can just take note note of it in an isolated incidents, please let us not snowball effect and turn the things that you've been doing into a part of who you believe that you are to your core. Okay, if you catch yourself doing it again, the mean girl self talk, the overthinking the playing it small and safe, the procrastinate working, the buffering in false pleasures that instant scrolling instead of connecting and making offers. Do me a favor and skip right on over the part where you beat us up. You're allowed to be imperfect, you're allowed to be a human. That's who you are. We're all human beings. But once you notice the habit, say to yourself, Oh, I see what I'm doing. And then take a small immediate action that you love that you can back a part of your identity that you would cosign and say, yep, that's who I am. I love that about me. I dare you. Okay, I dare you to act like you're me. Already. The version of us that goes big that loves us that just makes decisions and then believes we have what it takes to experiment until that decision becomes our reality until the decision that you're making right now is in front of you, but you've got to believe now, or at least practice believing it instead of By putting up on the screen and giving more airtime to your complaints and the things that you're not thrilled about, yeah, they happen. We don't want to be in denial about it, but they're not who you are. You've got this darling. Your only job today is to stop listening to the part of us that says that you don't. Instead, listen only to my voice. You are exactly who you decide you are. So who are you deciding to be today? Alright, you guys, we are shouting out the client of the week. The client of the week are masterful CEO shout out goes to Nicole. Nicole is the owner of two businesses. I believe I might have mentioned her before on the show. She owns the bubbly kitchen. She also owns emerald isles, I know that I have because I was telling you guys how much I love upon. But what I love so much that I needed to shout out about Nicole right now is that she is actually in a place where she is executing a plan that she set for herself over a month ago. And we are 23 days into the month. And she is still reporting on showing up to this plan. She talked about in her journal entries this week, which is something that my clients do in between our sessions, she is doing a download and doing an audit of how her brain is showing up in the middle of this process. And it lit me up and I needed to share it with you guys. Because when you're in the middle of the process, you kind of feel crazy. When you're in the middle of believing something new. You have to believe it and you have Don't you feel completely stretched and pulled and that is by design. That is exactly the sweet spot right before the magic happens. And when you are willing to commit to these processes that I lay out, your results are inevitable. So I can't wait. I'm going to update you guys on how Nicole's progress goes through the end of the month. I will update you guys in a couple of months. She will also be in the September class of the masterful CEO school. But I'm just so proud of Nicole, she created a plan that is big. It includes her whole big life, buying a house this month, moving in doing tons of renovations. She's got two businesses entrepreneurial. And then she also has another job that she's had for a long time and she is in the thick of it right now. And so if you are in the thick of it, I want you to be inspired by Nicole, I want you to know that. It's supposed to feel messy. But when you are doing all of the things and you are in the middle of executing on your plan, and it doesn't feel comfortable, settle in, just know and watch yourself and say this is it. This is what it looks like on the path to my success. Shout out Nicole keep inspiring us. And I can't wait for the rest of you guys, too. If you're feeling overwhelmed. Take Nicole's example. Then listen to this show. And then let us know in the reviews. What did you take away from this episode? All right, let's go.

We are covering indulgent emotions. This month. Every one I'm going to talk to you guys about today is overwhelmed. Now even as I say this word I feel like some of you guys are like holding your breath. Overwhelm is probably the indulgent emotion that I hear the most among my clients. And just to give you a definition of what an indulgent emotion is, an indulgent emotion is an emotion that doesn't have much upside. It is the emotion that stops your progress while we're feeling it and it halts you from creating results. Most emotions through positive or negative actually will help you create change and grow and make progress create some sort of result one way or another. But an indulgent emotion is one where you kind of set up camp and you create a lot of inaction or you procrastinate or you know, nothing really comes out of it. You're just generally feeling busy and or exhausted mentally. And I wanted to explain to you since this is the place on this podcast where we know this isn't personal, but it is emotional. And we're going to break down the emotions that pop up the most in our business. So this was the number one indulgent emotion that my hamsters told me that they had been experiencing recently and overall in their business. So it's important to know what creates it and what doesn't create it. First, let's talk about the things that we think causes overwhelm. Usually, when I get into a session, and someone's saying, I'm just feeling really overwhelmed, and I asked them why, most of the time, it sounds something like, I have so many things on my plate, I just have too many things on my to do list too much to do not enough time, I don't have the answers or the order or direction. And this is not true. Okay? I want you to understand that you can have twice as many things, as you currently have in your to do list. And you can feel completely calm. And the reason this is important to know is because again, when I am asking you what's causing you to feel overwhelmed, really, what you're doing is you're looking outside of yourself to tell me all the circumstances of what's going on, and what you have to accomplish or to achieve or you're not even really sure where to go. The truth is, is that overwhelm has nothing to do with a number of things on your to do list, and everything to do with the number of thoughts that are bouncing around in your head. So we've covered what overwhelm is not caused by. And now I'm going to tell you the three things that create it, the three things that actually create it. Number one is improper, or a total lack of scheduling. Number two, is thinking that there's a right answer. And number three, is dramatic or scarce. Thinking, let's actually start with that one first. Okay. So when you're stressing out, when you're saying, I don't have enough time, you begin to react to your life. Okay, you start churning out results that support your stressful thinking. And then your overwhelm drives you to procrastinate, stall, quit, and really do nothing. Stressful thinking exaggerated dramatic thinking is something that we we do to really match and let people understand the the tone and the vibration of what we're feeling. So we just need to be aware of it. And it's something that I do in coaching. And I help you guys point out and write down the actual thoughts that you've reflected to me so that you can see how the language that you're using to describe your situation, we can kind of see, is this true? Is it actually how I would describe it, if I really only had one sentence to describe my day, my situation, whatever it is, and even if you do think that it's true, how do we know that it is just a thought. And as we heard on this podcast before, your thoughts, just because you believe them does not make them true, they are different from the facts of what's happening in your life. So we sort that out, we want to sort that out. But just notice that your overwhelm is first and foremost caused by your stressful thinking. And scarce thinking, especially when it has to do with time, or money or clients or resources. When you were thinking that you do not have enough, it is going to create this, this feeling of stress and you and overwhelm. And when you're in overwhelm, you are way less likely to show up and produce more of that thing that you already feel like you lack, right, proving that your thought is true. So number two, is, as we said, is improper or a lack of scheduling. So scheduling is one of the very first things I teach my clients when they come on. And when you fail to schedule or plan, your thoughts, plans and intentions actually just remain floating around in your head. Now remember, being busy, has nothing to do with your to do list. I said it has to do with how many thoughts you have going on in your brain. Now when you track your results, and you see very little it's because you've been posting up in overwhelm. The solution is not to take a step back, as many of you will tell me, you'll tell me I'm just really overwhelmed. I think it just needs to take a step back. I need to take a break. No, the opposite is the solution. It's your solution to overwhelm is to plan, schedule and do more and most importantly fail more. This is an another thing that we teach you in coaching and inhabiting sessions which His failure collections set you up with monthly fails that you set out to collect so that you are not ever stuck in overwhelm, because you are setting yourself up to only want to succeed and to win, and you're anxious and nervous to fail, right? This pattern of planning and scheduling, failing, and then repeat will create massive results. Overwhelm, on the other hand, creates no results. And finally, we land. The third reason we land in overwhelm is when we pretend that we don't know what to do first, we don't know what to do next, or we don't know how or when to do something. And all of that comes from pretending that there is a right answer outside of ourselves in the first place. This kind of thinking won't get us answers, the solution to give ourselves is to give ourselves permission to figure it out. To fail, like I said, to take action and learn through the process. The solution to overwhelm here is to make decisions really quickly. And then have your back and just decide that the decision that you made was right. I'm not telling you to ignore the data you we can continue to look at the data. But in most cases, the decisions that you are avoiding making in overwhelm are decisions that don't have a clear right answer that you can only know whether it's right or not through taking it. But once we take this action, it's easy to jump right back into overwhelm when we start second guessing ourselves being dramatic and pretending that there is a right answer. And we're really searching for that right answer. No, we can get to decide that the decision that we made was the right one, what an amazing skill for you guys to have in your back pocket. Okay. And when you begin to make decisions quickly to once you have decided on it, make plans and schedule it into your, into your day into your week into your month into your whole year. This creates momentum, the opposite of overwhelm can be momentum. So that was a lot of information packed into an episode A minisode. But what great nuggets of information I've had people tell me that they picked up new info or made new connections when they've re listened to this episode and many others. So remember, if you are enjoying these episodes, and you're all the way caught up, go back and listen to some oldies but some goodies. Go back search through search for some key words of what you're going through. Search for money if you need some money inspiration search for time, search for people pleasing search for policies, search for what you need from the show and then search it with the tag sincerely future you on the end. There is so much in all of the episodes that I promise you whatever you need for me today. This week's episode, wasn't it a past episode was can't wait for you guys to tell me more VIPs that you are looking forward to hearing so that we can bring back the next time that we do this. We can bring back your VIP

you guys something exciting this way comes. We have a masterclass coming. And I wanted to do this because for some of you, you might be new to the show. You might be new to me. And you might have no freaking clue what I mean when I keep saying masterful CEO. So I wanted to talk about it for a second what is a masterful CEO. This isn't just some cute nickname for my clients. It's who you become as the result of my masterful CEO framework. I define a masterful CEO as someone who has a masterful approach to their time, money and CEO drama. But the framework for that mastery is actually nine steps nine parts and because we have so many new listeners who are craving systems and calm when it comes to their business, I'm giving the people what they want and we're going to do a free masterclass on masterful CEO knowing the tools, the concepts and the processes. I teach my clients that gives them 24 Plus more hours in their week. The experience of earning spending, saving, investing, having and giving money that feels as good before, as it does during and after they do it and a tangible process for believing and creating new things not just in their business, but they apply this to the Your life as well. You are not going to want to miss this masterclass it is September 6 at 12pm ESG. You can register in the show notes or in the link in my Instagram bio over at Jess McKinley bueno. That is my name at je s s MCKINLE. Y way no UI e n o. It's going to be juicy and jam packed. So Be there or be rhombus. That's a little geometry humor for you.

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