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150. Mind Drama: The Masterful CEO is Also Human—Don't Forget

Updated: Mar 7

I love working with my clients on mastery. It’s a word we use a lot. More of a self-concept really. We are meticulous with our calendars and our budgets. And we honor our word. We create plans, and then we execute on them. But there is complimentary work that we do as well to be great CEOs. We fall in love with our "humanness." Our dramatic brains. Our emotions. Our imperfections. Our messy action. Our trials and errors. Our primitive tendencies - to worry, doubt, second-guess, and indulge in confusion. We make room for us to rest. To receive. To lean on others. To slow. To change our minds. To heal.


We love all the parts of ourselves AS WE ARE. And also, we evolve into more seasoned and precise versions of ourselves. We love our past, present and future self. Because we are not, in fact, robots. And WE DON’T WANT TO BE. Pursuing mastery without loving and accepting your humanness is not recommended. It will pit you against yourself in a way in which you will never win. You’ll burn out.


So, here are the cross-roads you will come up against as you grow your business. Sometimes you will take a left. Sometimes you will take a right. And right now I’m going to walk you through how to know which path to take.



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Jessica McKinley Uyeno 0:00

Ultimately, your self trust is paramount as the CEO of your business. Don't you ever blame me or any one of your other mentors? For why you aren't getting results? Take 100% accountability for them the same way I do. Welcome to sincerely future you a podcast that helps ambitious women like you make decisions today with the future you in mind. Okay, hamsters, we're talking about mastery today, but at the same time, we're also talking about your humaneness. This is episode 150 mind drama, the masterful CEO is also human. Don't you forget it? And I feel like for some reason, you guys have gotten convinced that mastery, and humaneness are like these polar opposite things. And you can't be both at the same time. But Oh, contraire, absolutely you can and you must because you can't outrun your humaneness. I love working with my clients on mastery. It's a word that we use a lot inside and happening sessions. It's more of a self concept. Really, we're meticulous with our calendars and our budgets. I love that word too meticulous. But some of you guys are using it against yourself. And we're gonna stop today. We honor our word, we create plans, and then we execute on them. But there's also complimentary work that we do as well. In order to be great CEOs. We have to fall in love with our humaneness, our dramatic brains, our emotions, our imperfections, our messy action, our trials and errors, our primitive tendencies to the parts of us that worry and doubt and second guess and indulgent confusion, we have to make room for us to rest, we have to make room for us to receive to lean on other people to slow down to change our minds to heal. We love all the parts of ourselves as we are. And also we evolved into more seasons and provide precise versions of ourselves. Okay, so we have to love our past, our present and our future self. Because we are not in fact, robots. In fact, I was watching Wally last night and I was like, Oh my gosh, sometimes I think Wally is a more human version than what my clients are trying to be. It's like we robots are trying to be more human. And humans are trying to be more like robots. And I'm like, can we just stop? Can we just find a way to be masterful and meticulous human beings, okay. And we don't want to be robots. So pursuing mastery without loving and accepting your humaneness. It's not recommended Zero out of 10 recommend, it's going to pit you up against yourself in a way in which you'll never win, you're just going to burn out. So today on this episode, we're going to talk about some crossroads that you're going to come up against as you grow your business. And sometimes you're going to take a left, and sometimes you're going to take a right and right now I'm going to walk you through how to know which path to take. Okay, number one, sometimes the masterful thing to do is to stay the course. I'm just going to walk you through this in examples either in my own business or in a businesses of my clients. But for this one, let's talk about my business. In January of 2020. I set the goal to be a part of Life Coach School certification in August of 2020. Right so I had nine months to collect $18,000 and have that ready to pay. Now at that time, personally, in my humaneness. I was just starting to step into the self concept that I was an in demand coach that people wanted to work with me they wanted to pay me money. I wasn't just asking for it. Right. I was stepping into that on the human side, but I was practicing that believe it wasn't yet ingrained. And I just knew that this goal of getting into certification was something I needed to do. I was ready also personally, I had the capacity to to push through really anything I just knew. No matter what happens this year, I must be in the room when August comes. Now. Do you guys remember what happened in March 20? Do anyone show


the whole world shut down? Yeah. COVID hit and lots of my clients canceled. So while I'm trying to grow and you know, really double my revenue more than that, that year I I was hit with like the biggest hurdle that I had had professionally. And not only that, like the world agreed with me, I had all of this evidence that you should just probably change your goal, this isn't the year to do that, you've got other things, you just went through a divorce, you should really just like, push it, just do the next round in April, just wait another six months, there's no rush. And I just knew in my bones, that my growth was to stay the course. So I decided to back myself up with all the fuel that I needed to stay the course. And for a lot of people what they think I mean, when I say stay, the course is to just like hustle and to grind. And it wasn't that I wasn't taking lots of action, because I was but just feel like lots of action when your thoughts are deep in belief that the goal that you're reaching is just like done. So I want you to know that if you're going to take this path, if you're going to take a right here and stay the course when an obstacle comes up, you need to set a foundation of believing that the goal that you're that you're working towards, will be done. Because how many of you come and tell me and you're like, oh my gosh, like, I just I'm exhausted, I don't want to sell to another person, I don't want to message anyone on want to pose I just want to do it. And I'm like, the only reason it feels hard to post right now is because you will leave that at the end of all your posts and all your outreach, all your messaging, people aren't going to buy. If you believe that, of course, once I post an email, and I connect with these people, they're all going to know what I know, which is that my offer is the most amazing thing, and it's so valuable to them, and they're gonna want to buy it, it becomes fun, it becomes light, it becomes easy to do all that work. So staying the course requires that you layer in deep sound belief that your goals are as good as done, they're inevitable, and that you just are going to have to figure out a new plan and a new how in order to get there. But that that whatever you try, inevitably will work. Okay. So sometimes the masterful thing to do is to stay the course like I did in 2020. And of course, I did end up getting certified it was quite by the skin of my teeth or the hair of my chin one of those weird sayings. And I definitely yeah, like here my genomic shoot got a pluck that. But yes, I, I was I was committed to that goal being done no matter what. And I was so in such deep belief in it that actually, when the first payment came up, I just had enough for the first two payments, I did not have the remaining four. But I was able to come up with it in a light and fun fueled way. Because I just was like, it's happening. I've chosen to stay the course. So if you choose whatever you choose, go all in on that choice, right? Stay the course you're not like, alright, well, let me try to stay the course. And if it doesn't work in a month, I can always pivot now. You're just like, All right, we're going for it. Like imagine you're on a boat and you're like, do we go in and like through this storm? Not halfway? Are you going to turn back around? It doesn't make sense. You're already halfway there. You're gonna go through it, you're committed. Okay. Now, number two, sometimes the masterful thing to do is to pivot. This is so confusing, right? Because you're like, well, which is that you just had to stay the course now you're saying the masterful thing to do is to pivot but this is the nature of being a human being running a business as a CEO, you need to be able to make a decision and sometimes the right thing is to stay the course sometimes the right the masterful thing is to pivot. An example of this is in October or November of 2021. I became bedridden with pregnancy, nausea, and we were very close to the end of the year to my very first 200k year I was at like about 163. And I was like, okay, like it gets see it's in my sights. All I have to do is I have like demand right now there are consults, setup. I have people who like are ready to pay, I just need to do this deliver this one thing. But I knew that if I were to take on those clients, I was going to probably my delivery in them my onboarding was going to suffer. And I just wasn't willing do that. So for me, I had to check in I had to say like, my goal is 200k. But is the pursuit of that goal going to compromise my integrity or a value or a priority of mine, like my health, and, or the integrity of what I'm offering? Do I really want to bring on? Like, it was just right 37k. Once you're at that place, like 37k becomes not, it's when you're going from zero to 37k, you're like, all ticket like any anything, anyone who's willing to pay you, you're willing for it to be an imperfect, not maybe your best client. But at this point, I was like, No, I just want to bring in best clients, and I just want to deliver to them at the highest level. So in this case, I decided to pivot I looked at my, my priorities, and I realized that my priorities here are that I can rest and appropriate amount and that I can deliver to my clients that I currently have, I had to make some new decisions to delay some payment coming in and delay for weeks of my clients coaching in my one on one clients, and I decided not to bring on any new clients for November and December. And I had my own back on that. So here if the if you're going to pivot as a CEO, the most important thing is same way you commit when you're staying the course. If you're going to pivot, you have your own back, you love your reasons for doing it. And you have compassion for yourself as a human being that, hey, when I set this goal of 200k, I do not expect to have pregnancy nausea at the end. And I really do love for me and for my clients that I care more about the integrity of getting the people that I already have, what they want, what they came for, and not like selling my soul for some quick cash and being stressed out on the back end and compromising my own and or my baby's health. So another Crossroads you might come up against is that you want to plan and execute that plan to a tee. So sometimes the masterful thing to do is to plan it well in advance to have a thorough plan and execute that plan to a tee. For example, when I was going on maternity leave, I knew I wanted to hand over my whole business to Janelle, my executive assistant. And I wanted that to be, like, just done in a way that was so buttoned up that even my primitive brain that's always gonna be like, Oh, but really did we prepare enough was gonna be like, yes, you can calm down, you did the best that you could. So I knew. And I loved my reasons for planning, creating a thorough plan and executing that plan to a tee. And part of that was is that if you're going to do that, the growth there is that you're showing yourself what you're made of. A lot of you guys like you're not even testing your limits, you're not showing yourself what you made if you have a greater capacity within you, and you're not testing it. And I'm like, Alright, guys, let's dial it up a notch, right? It's like in workouts, if you're just used to kind of going pressing play going through the motions. It's like sometimes if you have someone in front of you just being like, harder, faster, do not stop got 10 More seconds, see how many you can get in in those 10 seconds, and you're just like more and more amped.


I think that there is growth within being on yourself and being dialed to that level where you are executing that plan to a tee. We do that with scheduling, it's designed to bring up all of your limiting beliefs, all of your garbage thinking, and it's designed to bring up your bad habits and your tendencies that you maybe want to look at and change. Okay, so I think that sometimes the masterful thing to do is to do that this requires healthy beliefs that like I said, not just hustle. If you're going to make a plan and execute that plan, you need to have some good policies for yourself that there are certain things that you will not compromise. So for me, it was like I will always make sure that I'm not skipping lunch that I am if I'm taking doing a plan to the tee that I still was making sure I was not working until midnight every night I would allow myself kind of like one of those nights every two weeks or maybe I would allow myself like a couple of days of it in order to get something across the line and then I would give myself more rest in the back end. But you need to know for yourself what you're bound Arrays are and belief that like, ultimately, this is just a way to show yourself what you're made of. And there's no, there's nothing you need to do. Like let it be fun. Okay, we use failure collection. And failure collection is a process that I teach that serves as a process for creating our plans and turning our goals, reverse engineering them into task items that you can schedule. Now, on the flip side, sometimes the masterful thing to do is to just do it messy, sometimes the simplest way forward is just to get it out of you, without a thorough plan, just quickly, and especially when you're trying something new. I see a lot of you guys like, when you're trying something new, you have a lot of self doubt, you have a lot of perfectionist tendencies. And it's really easy to just hide from the failure. But sometimes it's like, Alright, we just need to get it out, we're gonna fail. And we can only learn from the evaluation after having done it. Sometimes I watch my clients use planning as a form of procrastination. And you need to be able to dig deep and to look at okay, is this the time to just do it messy. So for me with webinars, within my mastermind, she has a webinars course there's like all sorts of modules, I started to watch it, I started to watch myself be like, Oh, this isn't, I'm not gonna be able to watch all the modules before when I planned it. So I'm gonna delay it. And it was a form of procrastination. I was like, You know what, with webinars, I'm going to do my best. I'm going to watch a couple of modules, I'm going to take some things that are working, and I'm going to do it messy, learn from it, tweak and then apply one new thing each time I do the webinars. And that was my commitment. And it's been working really great for me, because the idea of webinars were very overwhelming to me. And it was slowing me down. Right. So as a CEO, my mastery came from doing it messy. And the final thing is, sometimes the masterful thing to do is to just surrender and love what is, as CEOs, we have to operate from the reality of our current circumstances. I don't love the reality like claws of like, Be practical living reality. You know, me, I love that you guys are dreamers. I am too I want us to dream big. But they still need to be things that actually don't contradict each other. So I'm going to give you some examples. I see so many of my clients waste time in their brain wishing for this alternate reality that doesn't exist. For example, if you took a maternity leave so that you could rest and be present with your family. But now you're on that maternity leave. And you're telling yourself now you wish you could be making all the decisions that you've delegated and not paying someone else. Often I love to, to point out to my clients, when they pitched me this like alternate reality. I'm like, Okay, why don't you do that? Why don't you just go off of your maternity leave and you do the work yourself? They're like, Well, no, I'm on maternity leave, like I need to be with my baby. I'm like, No, you actually don't, you're choosing to be with your baby. And you love that choice. So honor your choices. And don't put an alternate third reality in there in which you could be on maternity leave, but also not paying someone and just like resisting and not loving your current choice. And you have the option to love your choice or to change it loving what is is a practice. And it simply requires that you stop spending your energy wishing away your reality. Another example of this I always see in my clients is taxes. As an early stage, entrepreneur clients scale to their first six figures, they love to accept cash. And like sneaky offers off the books as a way of avoiding paying lots of taxes. And it's just a very small thinking way to scale. I recommend that you have everything on the books so that you can track it meticulously so that you can reverse engineer your goals better, and pay lots of taxes. I love to pay like lots of taxes I did last year, right? Like, why? Because it means I've made lots of money. I used to get taxes back and I can tell you I much prefer to pay 10s of 1000s of dollars in taxes instead of playing small. I also love this vacation. This example, when I'm going on vacation, I always imagine that I'm going to have luxurious amounts of time to do all the things like wake up early and work out with the sunrise and then also I want to sleep in every day and be really well rested. There's no alternate reality in which we could both sleep in and wake up early. But yeah, it, some of us are spending time in our business doing this exact thing. For deeper work on loving to love you're on learning to love your life as it is, especially the parts that you can't change, like the fact that you chose to have two kids that are six years apart in age. And like that presents a lot of very interesting time management like issues. I recommend reading the book loving what is by Byron Katie,


it is so healing and it is so beautiful. And it really really helps me get through Honestly, my divorce and get back to focusing on what I wanted to grow. And what I wanted to do that was helpful to me. And a lot of that was precious energy and time that I was wasting in an alternate reality in which I wished that Calvin didn't have parents that were split. But I also did wish to be divorced. That is not helpful to think about that. Instead, I had to learn to focus on loving my new blended family loving the complete relationship that I had had, and loving the advantages that Calvin was going to have by having two parents that were better fueled. And were able to like, give him the full attention that he desired and loved. Where in your business, are you not loving what is okay, so finally, I just want to leave you with some tools of how to know which way will be the best. Number one, know your tendency. So for some of you guys, you have a tendency of really procrastinating with some self coaching or practice procrastinating with consumption. And so for you probably the the best way right now, the most masterful thing to do is going to be to just do it messy, or it's going to be to stay the course because I watch a lot of you procrastinators, you keep pivoting, pivoting, pivoting, or like oh, I'll just come up with a new offer. Or I'll just do this as a way of avoiding the plan and seeing it all the way through. So that might be it for you. But know your tendency if the flipside is the opposite, where you get so locked in to the plan that you've set, that you burn yourself out, and you're not really looking at what is best for you now that a new circumstance may have come into play. Okay. Number two is use your rules and tools for you not against you, I have an entire episode on this concept about not using your tools and your mentors against you, I will link it in the show notes. I have guidelines myself as a mentor, but they're based on what I see works for the 100 or so clients that I've worked with. And amongst those clients are, of course, outliers. Ultimately, you are the CEO of your business. And if you know that in this season of life with sick kids at home, because it's winter, you're going to succeed best if you operate off of your TV scheduled list temporarily, even though I advise you to schedule out your whole day defer to you, ultimately, yourself trust is paramount as the CEO of your business. Don't you ever blame me or any one of your other mentors for why you aren't getting results take 100% accountability for them the same way I do in my own mastermind. And in my own investments, when I invest, I don't defer responsibility that's on me. Okay. And finally, love your reasons. Like I said in that example, with the pregnancy, nausea, my reason not to hit 200k. And to pivot from that goal was because I was hyper focused on delivery and help. And those are my priority. And I love those reasons for me. Last two things number. I don't know what number one, it's fine, believe that there is something to learn from both ways. So this is just something that I love to keep in my back pocket. Because you could sometimes it's close and it's a toss up. Sometimes you could do it messy. And sometimes you could execute on the plan to a tee and just pick one if you're not sure. I think there's always something to to learn from both from doing it either way. So just look at what might I learned from doing it this way? And what might I learned from doing it that way? And which thing am I in the mood to learn right now? Ask yourself high quality questions like that, like what is my growth right now? What feels good in my body? Does this align with my plan? Does this align with my core values? Is there a simpler way? Is there a more fun way? Is there a faster or easier way? I my favorite high quality question I always ask myself is how can I be made Getting more money and spending less time doing it. That question guys be whatever I get stuck in the weeds so you can borrow that. Remember you are human, you're complex, and you will have highs and lows. And that's by design. It's the most amazing thing being a human, and you can't outrun that humaneness. You don't want to, to be honest. So for my current clients, remember, mastery is not a synonym for being a robot. And for all of you future hamsters, don't be convinced that once your processes are tight, you won't still have days when you have to pivot or slow or rest. And when you cry over a failure, or get frustrated and snap at an employee, it's okay. It's more than okay, it is light, and it's awful, and beautiful and so damn worth it. You can be wildly successful and you will be wildly successful while still being a messy human being. Trust me, I would now have a beautiful weekend. Hey, hamsters. If you want to learn more about today's topic, head over to what's happening.com forward slash podcast. That's what's happening. Whats h a p p y and ing.com forward slash podcast? If you're a business owner, and you're resonating with what we talked about here, what are you even doing come hang out with me over where the party's at on Instagram at what's happening? W Jeff again. That's happy. Ha p p y and ing and book a discovery call to see if coaching is your next best step.


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